Tuesday, 25 September 2012

Prelude to a Ploy

Part 2 to Hisoka's Second Time. People asked for it, and since I'm a writing monkey, I had to write. As usual, I don't own anything except all which is originally mine. Which now that I think about it, is everything in the story.
So really and truly I own everything. I keep them all in my closet. I'm worried it's getting crowded in there.

Enjoy



Prelude to a Ploy

Hisoka wheezed in pain. He laid on his back scanning the twilight as sweat tricked down his face. He had not regretted put on his make-up before the training session with Karn and was grateful for his absent mindedness. The wizened instructor sat down on a rock and took out his second bottle of wine.
“Barely any improvement. Bah, I don’t know what she sees in you.” His tone cracked; years of tobacco smoking and sword swallowing accidents had deformed his voice forever. Hisoka said nothing. He knew better that to talk back to his nen teacher. Karn had been reluctant enough to teach anyone, for whatever reason. It wasn’t as if he were an open book. He never socialized with the rest of the troupe, never laughed with them, never drank at their table. His only source of human ineraction was Ela, his wife. They had shown up once upon a time, demanding a position in the show and ranks of the troupe. The caravan welcomed them after they had showcased their ‘talents’. After all, the troupe’s show was one with a twist. And nen performances earned money.
Karn fiddled with the cork before he muttered a curse and conjured a small dagger out of thin air. The sword swallowed jabbed at the cork top and ravenously ripped it off.
“Get up and go bathe somewhere. You stink,” he said. Without much consideration began ravaging the dark red liquid. Hisoka stood up and gave a slight bow in his direction. Not once did their eyes meet. A ‘thank you’ slipped out of the magician and Karn responded with a grunt and an aggressive wave of the hand.



A soft moan escaped his lips as the water, silver in the moonlight, caressed his skin. This was his time, where all the pretense washed off, together with the memories of trying to enjoy himself and his life with the troupe. He couldn’t take much more. He was close to snapping, to crying in sheer insanity and butcher everyone in the vicinity. He was bored! So. Fucking. Bored.
He had been reduced to downplaying his power in order for him to tolerate the lessons with that old idiot. Ten, Zetzu, Ren, Gyo; they were all toys in his hands. Magic tricks. Karn could conjure knives. He could throw, fight and swallow them. Too bad he couldn’t walk straight. That left knee of his made his step wobble. That, and the fact that Hisoka had rarely seen the old man sober.
Hisoka laughed heartily. The lion being tutored by the gazelle. It was just too funny. He longed for the day where he could kill them all. Just like that gypsy. He longed for that feeling again. So why didn’t he do it? Right here, right now?
“I don’t know what she sees in you.” That’s what Karn had said.
Hisoka grimaced. Ela saw him for who he was. A powerful creature, destined for something other than carrying bags, setting up stages and showing lame sleight of hand tricks. It was she who had found him: he had just escaped that orphanage. He had just killed that priest. He had lived in the forest for exactly a month and a week, hiding, unknowingly using zetsu. She had seen him, took him in and made others accept him. She had insisted that her husband teach him.
Hisoka, too, had seen her for who she really was. A powerful creature, just like him. Only, she lived a human’s life. She had lived her life downplaying her power, allowing the troupe to assume that her husband was the only one with any considerable talent. But Hisoka knew better. And it was that that kept him going. But now he had drained her husband dry on knowledge. He wanted her. She was a mystery which he had to solve. Not forcefully, like the fortune teller, but gently.
A plan formed in his mind. He wouldn’t kill the troupe.
Yet.
He’ll leave them for later. If he played this right he could face them all together. United they stand and all that bullshit. Hisoka knew that was all crap. Just an excuse that with weak herds invent in order not to admit just how pathetic they really are.
Power is all.
Power, control and fate. He will seize all of them. He will laugh and dance all the way to hell and he will experience that feeling, that pure ecstasy, every single moment of his life.
No, he won’t waste time with the troupe.
He would go for someone worthy.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Ebooks, German teams and red lobsters

For those of you who don't know, I happen to be an amateur athlete. Emphasis on amateur. I'm not very good. Sort of.
Well, I tend to kick ass. Just sayin'.

My sport/ martial art Du Jour is Olympic Wrestling , Jujitsu and a hybrid style known as Spirit Combat (which is kinda like a jujitsu-meets-karate-meets-aikido-meets-kick boxing-meets-kung fu. If I forgot anybody I apologize. I'm there is a system founder looking at this going "What about me?!" as they stroke their Pai-Mei style beard.)

And this week, an Pro German Wrestling team visited my sad little island (literally) for a little sun, sea and showdown smack-down.
And despite their cultural (waaayyyyy more disciplined then us hoolingans) systems and differences, I believe we had fun.

A week of late sleeping, early waking, cultural visiting / tour guiding, host playing and the aforementioned butt kicking. All on dregs (3 hrs a day) of sleep.

So why do I bring this up?

Because today is the start, the beginning. Is it really?
Yes, today is the day that I have officially become an author. A (self )published author. With a book.

This is a story blog so allow me to divulge in a tale of journey, pride and screaming at the computer cos you don't know what the fuck else to do.

It was during entire days of touring Malta's finest (sarcasm dripping) establishments and cultural monuments (half of which our governments saw fit to demolish), we would arrive home at, say, eight or nine pm. I takes me till about ten to fully regain control over my central nervous system again.

And how does one relax after a day of playing host? Why, by going on Kindle (CreateSpace) and formatting  (playing with margins) a manuscript 16 cocking times before it is accepted for ebook publishing.

And today, as I carefully sat down with my sunburnt lobster-red body, I have received the good news. My debut novel, of my debut series, (I'm new to this gig, get off my ass) is up on kindle.

Yeah you read well.

Book one of the Legacy series, Firstborn, is, in fact, IN your way. It's looking at you with puppy eyes, begging you to caress it as you stroke your finger across your kindle, ipad, iphone or whatever. And you can, in fact do that.

Right here. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B009EUR2RG.

Yeah right up there, in the purple/ blue link.
Click it.
I dare you.
You know you want to.
0_0

It is only now, after 6 cookies, a cup of coffee and a 5 hour nap that I have the energy to deal with this. I've had an arduous week. I've screamed at the kindle set up site and at my computer, which almost gave me a heart attack or two. I've had to read 4 books a day and all of them were the same. Mine. So its understandable that I'm hating this novel right now and want don't want to see to for at least another year. Or two.
But you'll love it. A mixture of action, paranormal, humour and pissed off wizards, Firstborn will have your hear racing and your pants peeing. 0_0. Or it will threaten to shoot a fireball in your face.

For those of you who are interested here is the blurp:

Firstborn 

Meet Erik Ashendale, wizard.

He solves all kinds of problems of a magical and freaky nature. Especially when it comes to hunting down the supernatural.

So when he and his talking cat are asked to protect a girl who’s being chased by a big-time demon, they can hardly refuse, especially when the rent's due.

Once the fight takes shape, Erik and the rest of his unlikely companions have to pit themselves against the elemental forces of good and evil: angels, demons, a Japanese monster, 1/7 of the Deadly Sins, talking pets . . . and even a morally ambiguous twin sister gets thrown into the mix.

In order to stay alive, Erik must deal with his terrible past and the secrets of his family. And he must never forget the most important rule of his twisted world: Nothing is ever what it seems.


P.S. You'll be happy to know that all that remains for the London Expo is to find someone to print 150 copies of this novel in 4 weeks. My only problem is that I have a professional attitude, which seems to be in opposition to the local motherfuckers that I have to work with. But that's my problem. :)

Stay tuned for more updates. After a loooonnnnnngggggggg nap.

Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Unveiling Time, Rants and my head is a pothole

I may have promised the release of the cover of Firstborn yesterday. Or was it the day before? I tend to merge the 9 or 10 days of the week (yes I know. My days are f***in long!!!!) in to one long, never-ending clusterfuc*.

But enough about me and my bitching. You guys don't wanna hear about the heart attacks I get when I'm trying to persuade the cover artist into drawing what I want (my mind is too deep. Like a well. Or a pothole) or the fact that in good old Malta NO ONE and I cocking mean no one EVER prints books. It's not enough that we don't support but quash local talent (I'm pointing at me bitches) but today I had to explain to the head of a publishing company WHAT A F****** BOOK LOOKS LIKE. Yeah you read correctly. Our publishers don't know what books look like. No wonder everyone lacks hobbies, manners and personalities. Proof of Maltese illiteracy ->  publishers who ask me what does a book entail. (Seriously lady, shoot your self. No seriously, shoot yourself. Seriously, just do it. No seriously, PULL THE COCKING TRIGGER).

OK I'm calm again. Now that I have finished formatting Firstborn into an ebook (You guys have to buy this sucker; it's awesome) I finally have time to write something here. (P.s. Whoever invented the margins in MS word, See shoot yourself rant above. It applies to you too, ya jackass). 

The few sad people who read this (no seriously, I love you guys. Here's a cookie. You're awesome) you'll be happy to know that yesterday at like 3am (won't that be today then? seriously Ryan!) I finished the last piece of writing - the dedication. Some of my friends (the cool ones which read this blog anyway) are mentioned. Yes, you bastards, a novel has been dedicated to you. Now where's my cake?

But anywho. Now that I've ranted enough it's time to show this cover, now that I actually own it. Are you ready?
You wanna see it?
You really wanna see it? 
O_O
NO not that!!
The cover!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 




Are you drooling yet?

In order of appearance from left to right -> Big boat, pissed off magically enhanced wizard, Big Ass MONSTER. It's an Ushi-Oni. Wiki it.

Stay tuned for more updates. And rants. Mostly rants.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

Chapter 3


And here is the final preview chapter. Enjoy


3
Steam rose from my leather trench coat as the unrelenting afternoon sun baked every inch of the surrounding geography. I arrived in front of a building block and opened the front door to my office. Inside I was greeted with a semi-chaotic mess of antiques, ornaments, scattered furniture and discarded delivery boxes, all managing to occupy a majority of the open area. At the far end stood an antique-looking wooden table and a leather chair where I managed the “business” side of my job. A doorway adjacent to the left of the desk led to a modest kitchen, a bathroom, and a narrow staircase leading to a basement. On the right of the desk was another staircase, this one wider, which led up to the second floor. It was mainly a corridor and two bedrooms opposite each other as well as a bathroom. I usually sleep in one, unless I just crash on my couch downstairs, whilst Amaymon occupies the other. The cat made it clear that he needs his own space.
I strode into my office, sighing loudly as I slid my leather jacket off and threw it at the coat hanger. I took out what remained of my guns and dropped them on a cheap, wooden coffee table together with my sword before slumping on the couch.
“Ugh, what a day,” I complained to no one as I shifted my position so that I was lying on the couch. I went into a trance, slowly losing focus and letting my thoughts drift freely. My mind brushed against several questions which were bothering me: How come the last Lizardman I faced was so different? Was it some kind of mutation? If so, who instigated it? Maybe it was all a fluke, a genetic anomaly. Random things like that happen in the universe and with greater probability when your job is to face the unknown and misunderstood. One thought led to another and my focus shifted to other unanswered questions: Would I ever be able to fully control my power? Would I ever be able to solve the mystery of my curse? What terrible thing did one of my twisted ancestors do to merit such a punishment? How come it had come to fruition now? Who or what was powerful enough to curse an entire bloodline, spanning thousands of years? I shook my head violently as if to shatter those thoughts and throw them out of my head. I caught sight of the discarded gun parts and the pile of letters on my desk, and said, “It’s all right, Erik. No need to worry about the big picture right now. Focus on the little things. The guns, the rent, the damn cat.”
As if on cue, a sizable black blob suddenly leaped onto my chest. I yelled out in shock, jumped off the couch and tripped on Djinn, which was propped beside the coffee table. My head hit the corner of the coffee table and I let out a pathetic ‘Ouch’.
While I was displaying just how clumsy humans can be, the black American shorthair simply stood on my coffee table, eyeing me with his yellow eyes. Cats cannot smile but Amaymon was halfway there as he snickered in amusement.
“Dammit, Amaymon,” I said as I nursed a bump on my head. “I told you to stop doing that.”
“And I told you I will not stop as long as your reaction is always the same as an eight year old’s.” Amaymon is the world’s only talking cat and he’s always quick to use his tongue. And possibly the world’s most intelligent cat. Certainly the most annoying one.
Amaymon is my familiar as well as a demon. Here’s a little back story: Amaymon used to serve directly under the former demon Emperor. He led Hell’s legions and was sort of a second-in-command in that realm. About a hundred years ago, the demon Emperor caught my grandfather’s attention when he tried to exert some influence with the Ashendales. My family didn’t like that and a feud started. A very short feud. Within the week, the Emperor was killed and all in his inner circle were captured or killed, never to be heard from again. That is, until I accidentally stumbled upon a caged Amaymon, who’d been stripped of his powers and sealed inside a feline body. When I opened up shop, he was, quite literally, dumped in my lap.
Initially, I kept him around for information, slowly bargaining pieces of freedom and power in exchange for help on some cases. I always made sure that he knew who was really in charge and he hated my guts for that. He lied to me once, on purpose, hoping to get me killed. Only later did I calmly explain that if I died, he’d end up in the mansion again where he’d be dissected and probed for an eternity. After that, he settled with peeing in the corner and breaking random stuff out of spite.
Nowadays he spends most of his time basking in the sun, awaiting the perfect moment to ridicule his master. He seems to have accepted his role as both a guide and a reference. I can always rely on his knowledge, something that was gathered over thousands of years’ worth of experience.
“And you broke your guns. Again. Fourth time this month, is it?” he asked as he playfully pawed the bits of metal. I rolled my eyes and made for the kitchen, aching for a cold beverage.
“Will you stop lecturing me? For now at least? First you hit me on the head and now you lecture me,” I moaned as I grabbed the soda can and pressed against my forehead. Relishing in the cool sensation, I rolled it down to my neck before my throat complained of neglect. I popped the can open.
“You hit yourself. And stop using regular junk as channels. Breaking stuff is not in your best interest. You’re already behind on your rent,” Amaymon continued, clearly enjoying himself.
“It was a critical situation,” I replied weakly.
“Critical, my tail.”
“Amaymon, you’re an immortal demon trapped in a cat’s body. Are you really gonna bitch about the rent?”
“Yes. If you can’t afford the rent, then you can’t afford my Flakes,” he said in his most serious tone. Amaymon was addicted to a brand of catnip called Lizard Flakes and refused to do anything but complain should his supply run low.
“You’ll live without Flakes,” I replied, sipping my drink.
“You don’t know that,” he moaned as he rubbed himself against my leg. I sighed and picked up his bowl from the corner. Filling it with his favorite snack, I grabbed both the bowl and the cat and carried them to the coffee table.
“There. Can I have some quiet now?” I asked.
“Sure. Can I have some beer?”
“You’re a cat! I am certainly not giving you beer. Don’t want you getting sick all over my office.”
“It will certainly improve the décor.”
“Shut up and eat. Did anyone call while I was out?”
“No,” was Amaymon’s muffled response as he stuffed his face with the biscuit-like substance. A few seconds later, however, his ears twitched and said, “Someone’s coming.” Amaymon also happens to be a very reliable home security system, if you’re willing to put up with sarcasm.
I glanced at the door and wondered who it might be. I had just come back from a job for the police and I was certain that I had no more appointments for the day. In fact, I had not put the OPEN sign up yet. The doorbell rang and Amaymon hissed, glaring at the door intently, as if forcing his yellow orbs the see through the door. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he could as he has many abilities I knew nothing about. I knew his reactions to clients even before they stepped foot into my office. Hissing and glaring were sure signs that whoever it was, Amaymon did not approve of them. Chances were that I wouldn’t like them, either. So with a grunt of effort I got up and made for the door.
“Let’s see what pest the universe is plaguing me with now,” I said, smiling at my own wit.
I opened the door and was greeted by a short young girl dressed in an olive green, Victorian-style suit, complete with an ascot and a cloak. Her platinum-blond hair gleamed in the afternoon sun and her skin seemed to glisten. Her penetrating green eyes matched my own color but burned with an intensity that seemed to weigh your soul and then judge accordingly.
Behind her stood a very tall and lanky man, dressed in a traditional butler’s suit. His long, wavy hair was pulled back into a ponytail, held firm with a midnight-blue ribbon. His most striking features were his eyes. They matched Amaymon’s: golden orbs with black slits. He grinned, revealing a set of pointed, serrated teeth, the kind you would expect to see on a shark. Behind them a pair of bodyguards stood still, like statues. They wore the typical Men in Black outfits, complete with black suit and dark shades.
The girl broke the slowly increasingly awkward silence. “Hello, brother.”
I shook myself out of my daze. Just seeing my sister mere feet away from me was enough to induce anxiety. Over the years I had learned that the only way to deal with stress is to laugh and occasionally give in to minor bouts of madness. I gave in. Glancing toward the sky, as if praying, I said, “Good one.”



Chapter 2


Enjoy, and stay tuned for chapter 3



2
Wizard or not, I still feel fear when surrounded by darkness. Having a pair of firearms doesn’t change anything when you know deep down that your prey is unaffected by both darkness and bullets. I stood very still as my eyes, slowly adjusting to the darkness, picked up subtle hints of movement. A twitch here, a jerk there. I willed my magic right into my guns and I opened fire at the closest hint of movement. All hell broke loose, as flashes of red from my enhanced bullets showed giant reptilian figures scurrying around and running up walls. Angry hisses surrounded me, and I knew there and then that if I did not kill these monsters soon the predator could very easily become the prey.
There exist several types of magic but they essentially boil down to two: Wizards can simply wave their hands, say some words, and something happens. Or they can use channels. Channels can be just about anything: guns, knives, swords, bows and arrows. There is a downside, however: Everyday objects made by everyday people are too brittle to handle any real power.
So when I fired off more rounds and saw that I was getting nowhere, I decided to switch tactics before my guns disintegrated from sheer pressure. I holstered them with practiced ease and grasped the handle of my short sword, unsheathing a double-edged blade half a meter in length. The moment my fingers wrapped around its leather-wrapped hilt the blade glowed a faint azure hue.
Unlike my pistols, the short sword is perfect for magical channeling. Its main feature is the aura, or life force, of a Jinn fused into the weapon itself. I affectionately named the sword Djinn and it has been my faithful companion for years.
The Lizardmen’s hisses grew louder as the blue light hit them, and they retreated deeper into the safety of the shadows. Relishing my victory, I poured even more energy into the blade and held it high. The faint hue became a blazing explosion of light. I approached the two Lizardmen in front of me, now clearly visible, and held the blade in front of me like a shield. The giant reptiles thrashed in writhing agony and their hisses decreased in octaves to become mewling chirps, reminiscent of those of newborn birds.
My victory was short-lived.
Feeling danger approaching from behind, I dropped and rolled to my left just in time to avoid the clawed swipe of a third monster. My momentum carried me to the other side of the room and, even at that distance, I stabbed in my assailant’s direction. The short sword’s blade elongated disproportionately, skewering the giant lizard and embedding its tip in the wall behind it. I cancelled the spell, reverting the blade back to its original form, and spun and scanned the room for the two remaining monsters. I spotted one at the far end of the corridor, scurrying in retreat. I reversed the grip on Djinn, holding it point downward, and swiped with all my might, slashing the distance between me and my quarry. A crescent-shaped wave of blue energy erupted from my blade and streaked toward the lizard, bifurcating it. I smiled at my second victory.
Momentarily letting my guard down.
Too late, my senses warned me of danger as I felt a mighty blow on my right side, which knocked me into a door, crashing me inside a dimly-illuminated classroom.
The monster, erect on two legs, hissed furiously and stormed into the classroom after me.
I groped for Djinn and found nothing. “Crap, crap, crap, crap,” I cursed, each word louder than the one before it. I pulled out my pistols and started squeezing their triggers at the Lizardman—which was nearly on top of me—pouring every ounce of magical aura into the guns and the bullets it was firing. After what seemed like a year, I opened my eyes and saw a dead Lizardman splayed on the ground, its head resting comfortably between my legs.
“That went well,” I muttered in relief as I retrieved Djinn. A series of deep breaths helped my racing heartbeat to regain its normal tempo. I made it back to the pitch-black corridor and prayed that that was the last of the Lizardmen.
I noticed the telltale signs of a spell cast only in the corridor, a spell meant to coat the entire area in darkness. It also served as a dampener, reducing one’s sense of smell, sight, and sound. Lizardmen, which used their heat-seeking abilities, just like a snake, would not be hindered by the enchantment. This magic was clearly meant for any unfortunate idiot who happened to stumble in.
There are many ways to counter a spell. A subtle and cunning magician would simply dismantle a spell covering this wide an area. The trick is finding the right component to remove and such things require patience and subtlety—two things with which I was never compatible. Brute force, on the other hand, was second nature to me.
For the second time, I raised Djinn high above my head, holding it as if it were a trophy and I the athlete who had just won it. I poured as much energy as I could into it, making the blade glow intensely. Blue became white and after a few seconds, hot, searing, smiting, supernova light pushed back against the swallowing darkness of the spell, although I had to shut my eyes; the luminosity was too painful. Atmospheric pressure dipped and my ears popped. And then it was over. The pressure dropped, and both light and darkness vanished, leaving behind a ringing silence broken only by my panting breath. Natural light hit the walls, revealing a very mediocre paint job. My hearing picked up things that had been dulled out before: the chirping of birds, the distinct, tense orders from the police officers outside. And the muffled whimpering of children. I followed the latter sound, turning around corners and running down adjacent corridors, until I came to a plain, wooden door. I placed one hand on it and extended my supernatural senses as I closed my eyes, groping for any hint of a foreign aura.
Behind the door were fourteen spastic and scared aura bundles, presumably belonging to the children. They were huddled in a corner to the right. Directly in front of the door, as if it were some grotesque bouncer, was a jagged and sharp aura, vibrating at an erratic pace and swirling in unnatural patterns. Its shape, color, and texture was completely different from that of the children. This was the aura of the final Lizardman.
I willed my eyes open and blocked my aura-sensing, trying to replace the image of the swirling and erratic blob of energy with the image of a giant lizard. I did not plan on facing it in combat. If I made a single error, one of those kids could end up suffering and that was unacceptable in my book. So I calculated the position of the monster and pointed Djinn at where I assumed its chest would be. I placed Djinn’s tip on the cheap wooden door and channeled my own aura into the sword, which promptly elongated for the second time. The azure blade shot through the door and embedded itself inside the Lizardman’s sternum, skewering and pushing it farther back into the room. Releasing the spell, I opened the door and was greeted with the satisfying sight of a giant bipedal lizard thrashing agonizingly on the ground before stopping abruptly and remaining still.
I sheathed my sword and spun to face the kids, just to make sure that none of them were hurt. Ignoring their looks of awe and bewilderment, I turned my back on them and took out my cellphone.
The air in front of me popped and a Lizardman materialized out of thin air. I froze and stared at it, eyes wide open. This one was clearly different from the others. Its hide was a different shade of gray, lighter and milkier. Its eyes shone yellow and were shaped like a cat’s, rather than a reptile’s. Its joints were more slender and its muscles more wiry, perfect for speed attacks. Its tail, which, according to the few depictions I’ve read, Lizardmen used as a sort of counter-balance to aid them walk on their hind legs, was shorter and stouter, as if its owner had evolved beyond the purpose of needing a tail. Its long snout was considerably shorter, as was its neck. But the real danger was the claws. The unusually straight, sharp claws it bore on each hand were serrated on one side.
Nature had already given Lizardmen all they needed to survive; the claws, the teeth, the thick skin, and tail. There simply was no need to evolve. To my knowledge, none ever had serrated claws, or indeed any of the features that this particular specimen bore. I realized with morbid horror that those serrations were self-inflicted. The monster’s crocodile smile widened and it dawned on me that this monster, unlike its primal brethren, was intelligent.
Then with a blur it plunged one clawed hand into my chest.
As I fell onto my knees and onto the ground, I thought, Did that giant gecko just chuckle at me?

                                                __________________________________

Any normal person, wizard or not, would have been dead by then. Yet, despite losing half my blood I was still conscious and relatively rational. But, I am not just any normal wizard. I was born under a family curse, one which so far has only affected me.
Well, that’s not entirely true. My twin sister, was affected by it, but she got the good side of it.
Maybe I should start at the beginning. My ancestors were not the Merlin-type wizards. They were old-school warlocks and in those times none of the laws existed which govern us today. Modern warlocks abide by a golden rule: Do not tamper with other realms. We can watch, observe, study. But my ancestors took it a step further. They marched from dimension to dimension in search of knowledge and power—until they met a power which could stop them. I don’t know who, or what, they pissed off, but after a century of realm-plundering, they stopped abruptly. Later generations realized that they were cursed. No one asked why or how. The subject is still considered a taboo in the Ashendale bloodline. That is, until my sister and I were born.
My sister has an affinity for most branches of magic, whereas most wizards have at most two or three, making her nothing short of a genius; a brilliant tactician, wizard, and leader. Her only drawback is that, albeit knowing all these powerful spells, she does not have the raw energy necessary to perform half of them.
That is my side of the bargain. I am cursed with a titanic aura; energy levels which rate way off the scale. In terms of magical energy, very few people can actually come close to what I have. The downside is that my own energy is too much for me to control. Thanks to this, I am unable to cast any spells on my own, requiring the constant use of a channel in order to do magic. It is only recently, after nearly two decades of intense training and rigorous concentration exercises that I have become able to conjure up the weakest of spells without some horrible punishment. It took a lifetime of training and discipline in order for me to produce just enough flame to burn a cigarette. I wouldn’t dare use any more on my own. The after-effects are too great. It starts with pain; the bigger the spell, the more intense the pain. I can handle the pain; it’s that feeling of slowly fading away, as if your very soul is being doused and torn. I never tried going past that feeling. I’ve heard too many stories about overzealous wizards spontaneously combusting or melting into a puddle of goo. At best I would lose my mind.
There is one upside to my condition, however, that has proven to be very useful in my line of work. My body is constantly regenerating itself, healing the daily collections of scrapes, cuts, and bruises, as well as the occasional bullet or claw wound, almost instantly. My magic is strong enough for me to automatically heal my body with enough raw power left over to cast very taxing spells repeatedly and without fatigue. Already magical energy had gathered around the hole in my chest, reducing blood loss and regenerating tissue. Pain coursed through my body, but it passed as quickly as it came. The super Lizardman had barely taken four steps toward the cowering kids before I’d gathered enough strength to get up and point both Berettas at it.
“Hey, ugly,” I said. My voice was calm but every word oozed ethereal power as if I were possessed by the spirit of an arcane deity.
The Lizardman spun, poised to attack.
I squeezed both triggers at an inhuman pace, forcing the guns to spit magically-enhanced lead at a rate that no human could ever achieve. The shrapnel tore the Lizardman’s body to shreds. With a blood-curdling scream, its corpse disintegrated into dust with the same pop that was audible when it had magically appeared.
Detective March chose that exact moment to burst into the room through the window and in seconds the room was littered with police.
“Nice job, er— Holy shit,” Roland exclaimed as he pointed at my guns.
I raised them to eye level and examined the damage. The barrels had completely melted and molten steel was dripping down like water. “How the hell?” I remarked as I emptied the guns from any bullets, and tentatively pulled their triggers. As I did so, both pistols simply exploded into a million pieces, leaving me standing there with nothing but a pair of nearly broken grips. I looked up and saw the entire population of the room staring at me, shaking their heads in disbelief. I glanced at the nearest police officer, a blonde female. “I’m too hot to handle.” I winked at her.
She blushed and scowled before scurrying out of the room.
It was Roland’s turn to shake his head. “Don’t bother. Every single cop in this town has heard stories about you,” he said as he patted my back mockingly.
“All good stories, I hope.”
“Good stories, yes. Funny ones. But none of them picture you in a good way,” he said, no longer trying to hide his amusement.
I sighed. “Then they’re probably true.”


  

Firstborn Chapter 1

As promised yesterday, for those who follow my twitter account anyway, here is chapter 1 of Firstborn. Enjoy. Stay tuned for chapter 2





1
It was a typical day in the secluded La Fortunata area in Eureka, California—the sun beating down as if to smite all the evil that permeates every corner of the land,  sirens constantly wailing in their pursuit of an endless supply of criminals, and the usual plateau of sounds as everyday civilians carried on with their daily routines.
I fall under the latter category.
My name is Erik Ashendale and people stared at me as I strode toward the elementary school some twenty blocks from my office.
Maybe it was the black trench coat. Maybe it was the sword handle that poked out now and then from under the side of the coat. It was placed horizontally across my lower back after all, for quick reach. Maybe it was the clank of metal as people noticed my twin pistols with the fear usually reserved for notorious gang members.
But mostly it was my reputation: Erik the Wizard, Erik the Creep, Erik who gets rid of supernatural nasties while everybody else prays to whatever deity they believe in. They all knew what I did for a living. They all poked their heads into my office window, hoping to catch a glimpse of me performing some ritual which summoned forth some ancient demonic entity. All they saw was my extensive collection of trinkets and, occasionally, my cat licking itself.
The stuff of tabloids, indeed.
I arrived at my destination and noted that the entire street was littered with police cars. It seemed that every police officer on the entire Pacific Coast had run here to point their gun at a mediocre school building.
“You’re late.”
I turned around and was face-to-face with a young blonde police officer in plainclothes.
“Fashionably so,” I replied.
Detective Roland March shifted his stance, clearly under stress, and fumbled in his jacket pocket for a pack of cigarettes. “Well, now you’re here. That’s good. I didn’t know who else to call. Inspector is on my back and I have no idea what to do. We’ve shot at them, but bullets don’t stop them.” Roland’s voice dripped in fear and awe. He was at a loss about what to do. “And,” he continued, his eyes now wide open, “they aren’t human. I swear, Erik, they looked like giant geckos on hind legs. No one wants to admit what they saw, but we all saw it. Looked like it belonged in a cheap sci-fi flick.” He sucked deeply on his cigarette, forcing himself not to panic in the vicinity of his subordinates.
“Lizards? Long necks, elongated snouts, tail thrashing about? Looked ready to eat every single one of you without a moment’s notice?”
“Yes!” Roland yelped. “Exactly like that. There are at least five in there.” The cigarette was half gone by now.
 I smiled happily, much to Roland’s chagrin. “Lizardmen. You found Lizardmen.”
Roland looked at me like I had gone bonkers.
“Lizardmen are like the Big Foot of supernatural zoology. We’ve heard about them but there are few documented sightings. They’re extremely rare. And extremely dangerous.” I couldn’t keep the glee out of my voice. Everyone is a geek about something. I’ve known guys who are completely obsessed with Star Wars, or comic book characters. Heck, I knew a guy in elementary school who just wouldn’t shut up about aircraft. The fact that I get excited about parts of my job is a good thing. God knows there are many horrible and unsightly aspects to it.
“I don’t care if they are the Holy Grail of Voodoo. They can be whatever they want. All I want to know is how to get rid of them and save those poor kids inside,” Roland hissed. He’d lit his second cigarette.
“That’s why you called me. Only I have the necessary tools to get rid of them.”
Roland leaned in close. “You mean magic, right?”
I cringed my nose against the foul smell of his breath. “Yes, magic. I have explained all this to you before.” I yanked the half-finished cigarette from his mouth and with a will of effort I caused the whole thing to burst into flames.
“Hey, I wasn’t done with that!”
“Yes, you were. You already struggled to get all that weed you smoked as a teen out of your system when you enrolled. Do you really want a second addiction?” I asked as I walked with him toward the police cars and closer to the entrance of the school.
“So what’s the plan?”
“You get rid of every camera around here and have the bystanders leave. I will go in and do that voodoo I do so well. When I’m done, I’ll call you, you will collect the kids, and everybody will live happily ever after.”
“You wanna go in alone?”
“Yes. If any of you go in, it’s like providing them with a free lunch. Right now, I have a better chance at surviving them than all of you guys put together,” I said grimly.
Roland raised his hands. “Fine. I’m not gonna argue. I’ll say you’re a negotiator or something. Just call me the second it’s safe for my officers to go in that place. And Erik—” he called after me.
“Yeah?”
“Don’t screw up.”
I smirked. “When have I ever?” Before Roland could retort with very true accounts of my behavior around his crime scenes, I walked up to the front door. I un-holstered my guns, a pair of identical Berettas, and took a deep breath. I directed my grim thoughts toward the positive side. How my sister would kill to be in my position and be able to see, maybe even capture a fabled Lizardman. Amaymon, too, would have a hissy fit when he realized what he’d missed. After a few seconds of smiling like an idiot, I was ready to confront the horrors that had the entire police force cowering in their boots.
“Let’s go negotiate,” I said.


Monday, 10 September 2012

Drum Roll Please

Something very weird happened in the past few months. I managed to keep my schedule. Since what seems eons ago, really just last July, I managed to re-write almost an entire novel, get it proofread, get it professionally edited, create a cover (negotiating the final touches as I'm writing this) and now all I need is to finally give it to the people with machines and then, bibbity-bobbity-bo, we have a novel.

This comes to no surprise to those 3, maybe 7, insane people who follow my ramblings on twitter, and to the fewer who bother to listen to me in my full physical glory (0_0'). After years of trying to coerce me to get a facebook page, I can say that today I gave in. It's on my twitter page (see what I did there?), so please GET OFF MY ASS. This is all just for marketing and meeting the few mentally ill people I call fans, so if you wanna poke, prod, query and question, feel free to do once the blasted thing is out. If you got a personal question, sod off.

And speaking of telling people to sod off, I feel like I should at least reveal some info about the series. Yes, just like most urban fiction books, mine is part of a series. It's maybe 12 - 13 books long (depending on my financial state and sloth) and excluding short stories related to the series.

The name of the series is . . . Legacy.

'Is it the "Legacy Series?" ' you ask, 'or the "Serialized Legacy?" '
Most likely the first but I'll leave that to the people with the press. I just call it 'the-damn-thing-that-occupies-80%-of-my-brain-all-the-time-and-won't-leave-me-alone'. There's a theme here, see?

I will also reveal the title of this first book: Firstborn.

Are you gasping in awe, are you, are you?

So why am I telling you all this? Because I need you. Yes you (*point*). I need you to get your butt to the London Expo this October, come to my table (which I will be sharing with awesome artist Shaun Kami Aka Ookz) and buy a copy. It will change your life. And it'll be your chance to buy the first edition, self-published by moi (under supervision of course, I can't be trusted), and GET A SIGNED COPY. I will smile and tell jokes. I will only have a limited number (as much as I can fit in a suitcase) so it's first come, first served.

An e-book version will come out first, probably for Amazon Kindle. Just sayin'.

But before that, on this very blog, I shall post the first three chapters. Just to tease you. Because I want to see you teased.

Stay tuned,
Ryan